The vast majority of email I receive is fabulous. However...
I am interested in Femdom, particularly in hard sports and toilet slavery. How much it will cost and how to book an appointment?"
Dear Mistress (because I bcc'd in a plethora of other ladies and it would give the game away if I wrote your full name),
I can't be bothered to read your website, because I'm special. Please could you take time away from beating those who deserve it to reiterate that you don't do this activity and to repeat information already on your website?
"I am a bit of a coward but really would like to session as well but photography maybe the best introduction for me - now that would be something to get my blood pumping."
It's either one or the other, sunshine. Or neither for you, as the case may be.
"We are seeking 15 escorts to provide escorting services to extremely wealthy Japanese clients in Tokyo and Osaka, each assignment could be from a few days to a few weeks or longer."
Where do I sign?
"I live near chingford with my gf. Would dearly love to meet you alone for a dom sess. I await your summons. Xxx"
It is customary in my 'dunge' to have several pensioners eyeballing you through the window. kk? xoxo
"HI REBBEKKA RAYNOR
I HAVE NEVER TAKEN PHOTOS BEFORE AND I NEED TO GET UP A PROFILE CAN YOU HELP AND YOU LOOK GREAT UP TO FIG NUDE I LIKE THE PHOTO WITH YOUR BOOTS REGARDS KIERAN I AM BASED IN LONDON"
Your keyboard shouting and lack of puncuation displeases me. Begone.